It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
