No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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