At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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