My first STD was from a foam party
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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