he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
