hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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