best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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