I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
