Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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