She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
