just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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