I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
