return my video game
My pussy is not your playground.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
