So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
