garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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