DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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