it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
