dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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