my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
