Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
