Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
one two three fourrrrnication!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
