i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
