Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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