Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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