pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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