Got a toothbrush?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
