i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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