It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
