i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we're making bets on your personal life
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
