Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
