you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
