I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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