I need help removing her.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
