Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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