yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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