I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
last night I used snow as a chaser
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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