didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
