I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
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I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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