I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it's like iHOP with fire
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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