Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
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I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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