she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
being pregnant is like rehab
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
