The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
