the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
