physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
