Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
