even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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