If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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