only if we run a train.
done.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
