I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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