Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
