I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
