ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i came on her dog
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
