I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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