can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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