White coat. Heels.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
