Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
