The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
