I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
