I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just google imaged poop.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
