The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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