Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wish I only lived at night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Randomize
