theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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