hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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